Self-Interview

Why did you quit U.S?

I was against the US invasions. My tax money was used to wage those wars. I had no voting rights in this regard. So the only option that I had was to quit.

Why did you quit your job?

I was very happy in my job with Microsoft. One day we had a work shop where the H.R.D were assessing the morale of the employees and were subjecting us to different activities. During one such activity, eight of us were on a discussion table and had to answer certain questions. The H.R. girl asked “How would you change your life if I gave you a billion dollars”. The guys on the table went on saying that they would buy a boat, go on a world trip, open a charity organization, invest in x,y,z… but when my turn came I seriously thought over the question and answered from my heart, “My life would be exactly the same as it is today. I would drive the same car, live in the same place, work the same job and do all the things that I do today. The state of my personal finances might improve but there is nothing more that I need and can do with the extra billion that I can not do now”. So people concluded that I did not need to work any more. I went home thinking what is it that makes me work? I liked my job, my team. I got time to skate and train. My life was balanced and disciplined. I had interesting things to do and intelligent people to work with. It was not the money that drove me and I was not attached to anything. I had every thing to keep me going till Guruji called me back to the ashram. Yes, I had plans of joining the ashram soon after my first visit but every time I brought up the subject, Guruji pushed it aside saying “There is more that you need to do in the U.S.”. I had always kept my material possessions that everything could fit into my car. I was always ready to wrap all my transactions and return to India in 24 hrs. Then out of the blue a question sprang up in my mind - “What would you do if you happened to know that you would die in a month?” The answer was very clear. I would go back to my Guruji and spend the rest of my life in service. And what was preventing me from doing this? - The idea that I would live for many more years. Wasn’t this exactly called Maya? This convinced me that the right thing to do was quit.

How did you decide that the time was right?

In the real world you will never know when the time is right for things like that. Future insecurity and risk aversion keeps one on postponing such decisions. Working in the U.S. meant that you only had 3 weeks of vacation every year and I always had to be very stingy with it so that I could accumulate everyday of it for the ashram. I had finished work for a major release and got an opportunity to visit the Amazons and spend a month with the tribes in the deep forest. This convinced me that I was ready to survive on nothing and also gave me an insight that the people were the same everywhere and the fundamental problems were the same every where. Now that exhausted all my vacation days and my only sister’s wedding was fixed. Since things were not that hectic at work may be I could have worked something out, especially because I was in the good books of my bosses. But I thought that it was not right to portray myself as some one that I was not going to be to my sister’s in-laws after the wedding. So I had to quit before that.

Did your Guruji finally call you?

Well as I said, Guruji had been postponing this question for eight years. I finally decided that I had to take a leap by myself and take complete responsibility for my actions. In the spiritual path, there is a lot of risk and very few succeed. If I fail, I should not blame Guruji for coercing me into the path or such. May be that was the reason that he was postponing the question. Or may be, that I was not ready yet. In any case, I had nothing to loose by engaging in full time Sadhana and developing my Self till the time came. I had come to know by then that your body had to be fit and young to engage in serious Sadhana but working a job can be done even when you were old and broken. I did not ask Guruji, but I just informed him formally as every disciple is bound to. He did not object and there I was back.

Did you get some kind of omen that you were doing the right thing?

Nothing concrete that I can tell as such happened. But it is my belief that when you are doing the thing that you are meant to do, nature co-operates and when you are doing some thing that you are not meant to do, nature throws all kinds of blocks to hamper your progress. So I went along playing the game and testing how it unrolls.

I had sufficient FF miles to get my ticket back home free. My car got sold to a good friend. I distributed my furniture and utensils amongst my friends. My room lease expired naturally. There was no resistance from any front. I had told my intentions to my friends, relatives and all those who mattered and it did not surprise anyone or disrupt their lives in any way. I achieved all my skating goals.

At work, I was supposed to give a month’s notice but we had just finished shipping a major release and the next month was December. In the U.S. nothing much happens in that month and there was not much point in keeping me there. So it was a Friday when I told my boss that I was quitting, and he asked “How soon?” I told him “I have booked my flight next Monday. If you insist on me serving the one month notice, I will have to take a loss of pay, attend my sister’s wedding and then come back and work during the Christmas holidays”. He said, “Well if we were in middle of a cycle I might have thought along those lines. As I have told you, you were a good hire and we would have done everything to keep you here but now I see the reason for you leaving is quite unusual and there is nothing that we can counter that with. And if I do anything to retain you, that will be against your will. I would rather suffer the loss of a good worker rather than keep him here unhappy. So I would say, if you change your mind at any point, just ping me and we will have you back on board”. He threw me a farewell lunch on Monday noon and I boarded the evening flight.

Thus, all things fell in place and I was able to wind up all my transactions and clean up without causing any friction.

What did you plan on doing once you joined the ashram?

I had never made any concrete plans as everything depended on what Guruji would ask me to do. In the end every body has to serve. But I had guessed that he would ask me to travel all over India on foot of something of that sort. If I passed the test, he would give me some Sadhana. If I failed, it would mean that I would not be alive. Till then I could keep reading some scriptures or may be learn some music.

Do you think that you have progressed in any way by joining the ashram?

Spirituality is a slow moving world. It is not like you get out n papers, m patents or get promoted every year. You don’t switch jobs, move places, buy and sell things. You just stick to one thing and keep doing it long enough. I am just like a young kid in this area and need to spend much more time here before measuring progress.

I had already spent some 20 odd years getting this western education before being able to say something in one narrow area. Unless I spend some time educating my self in the matter of spirituality, I have no authority to comment about progress or even to know what it means. Most successful aspirants have spent around 12 yrs with their Guru before learning anything. So I have to be patient and keep working at it.

Do you ever repent your decision?

I never have repented my decision but I do miss my life at Microsoft. The quality of people around you is so much better in that place. As you see, I did not quit because I did not like it there but because I thought that there was something else of higher priority to be done here. I do miss my skating. I do miss working with computers, writing code, going on hikes and visiting beautiful places. I do sometimes thing about my friends there but now it seems like it was in some other life.

But on the other hand, when I am able to lie down under the open sky with only a T-shirt on me in the month of December and count my lucky stars, I do commemorate the decision of moving out of Seattle. I like the Sun and a lot and hate the clouds. So every time I see those big negative temperatures on the Weather News, I can’t help but smile on my good fortune.

Ignorance is no bliss

Voltaire was a French Philosopher, “as wise as it is possible for men to be; …” He met a good Brahmin who said, “I wish I had never been born!”

“Why so?” said Voltaire.

“Because,” he replied, “I have been studying these forty years, and I find that it has been so much time lost… I believe that I am composed of matter, but I have never been able to satisfy myself what it is that produces thought, I am even ignorant whether my understanding is a simple faculty like that of walking or digesting, or if I think with my head in the same manner as I take hold of a thing with my hands… I talk a great deal, and when I have done speaking I remain confounded and ashamed of what I have said.”

The same day he had a conversation with an old woman, his neighbor. I asked her if she had ever been unhappy for not understanding how her soul was made? She did not even comprehend his question. She had not, for the briefest moment in her life, had a thought about these subjects with which the good Brahmin had so tormented himself. She believed in the bottom of her heart in the metamorphoses of Vishnu, and provided she could get some of the sacred water of the Ganga in which to make her ablutions, she thought herself the happiest of women. Struck with the happiness of this poor creature, he returned to Brahmin, whom he thus addressed:

“Are you not ashamed to be thus miserable when, not fifty yards from you, there is an old automaton who thinks of nothing and lives contended?”

“You are right,” he replied. “I have said to myself a thousand times and I should be happy if I were but as ignorant as my old neighbor; and yet it is a happiness which I do not desire.”

This reply of the Brahmin made a greater impression on Voltaire than anything that had passed. He almost concluded incorrectly that Ignorance was bliss.

But the truth behind this story was easily unraveled by Guruji with the power of Kundalini knowledge. Each human is evolving through different Chakras where accumulated Prarabdas start haunting him. In Mooladhara, which possesses the properties of the earth, he suffers from hardships related to the physical body. In Swadistana, he has trouble with his children and such as the Chakra is associated with progeny. In Mooladhara he becomes ambitious and wants to become famous or rich. In Anahata he strives to be a musician, an artist. In Vishiddhi, he wants to become a yogi and no matter how much efforts he puts, he seems to be going no where. These are all passing phases and once Kundalini crosses the Vishuddhi no more Prarabdas daunt an individual.

AnandaKatha

Many great disciples attended upon their Gurus and served them selflessly with full devotion. In my opinion, Ananda was the greatest among them. Though he had a powerful retentive memory, and the rare privilege of listening to the Buddha owing to his close association with Him, he did not strive for his self-realization as long as Buddha walked the earth lest that gave him any more importance than a humble servant of the Buddha.
For the first twenty years after his Enlightenment, the Buddha had no permanent attendant. The few temporary attendants were not very dutiful and their behavior was not highly commendable. They dropped His robe and bowl and as age started catching upon Him, the Buddha asked His disciples to choose one of them to always attend upon Him. All His disciples present offered their services but the Buddha declined their kind offers. Ananda was the only one who was standing in a corner silently and the Bhikshus understood that the Buddha had chosen him to be the attendant and requested him to offer his services. He consented provided the Buddha granted him the following eight boons. Though he called these boons, all of them were selfless and with the best intention to serve his master and his divine cause.
1. The Buddha should not give him any robes that He Himself receives.
2. The Buddha should not give him any food that He Himself receives.
3. The Buddha should not allow him to dwell in the same chamber.
4. The Buddha should not take him with Him wherever He is invited.
5. The Buddha should kindly go with him wherever He is invited.
6. The Buddha should kindly give him permission to introduce visitors that come from afar to see the Buddha.
7. The Buddha should kindly grant him permission to approach Him whenever any doubt should arise.
8. The Buddha should kindly repeat to him the discourses that were declared in his absence.
For the next twenty five years till the Buddha’s last moment, he followed Him like a shadow attending to all His needs with great love and care. Each night he used to go round Buddha’s chamber nine times with a staff and a torch to keep him awake and to prevent the Buddha’s sleep from being disturbed. He remembered Eight-two thousand texts from the Buddha and two thousand from other Bhikshus which formed the knowledge of Dhamma. Buddha’s final words to him were – “You have done merit in the past, Ananda. Quickly be free from Corruptions.” Immediately he put in strenuous effort and attained Arahantship to take a leading part in the First Council, which was composed only of Arahants. It is stated that he was the only disciple who attained realization free from the postures of sitting, standing, walking or sleeping.

A complete contrast to this great disciple has been Ma Anand Sheela (Sheela Birnstiel), who was the personal secretary of Osho, from 1981 to 1985. Having her roots in Gujarat, she joined Osho and soon married a wealthy American disciple and emigrated to the U.S. She wanted Osho to visit the U.S. and finally succeeding in persuading him in 1981 when he had a prolapsed disc.
Ma Yoga Laxmi, Osho’s first secretary had been busy finding a suitable property for Osho, and thus, when the medical emergency arose, the initiative had passed to Sheela who instigated the move to America. She claimed Osho might have died if he had stayed in India and would find the medical assistance he required in America in the event that he needed emergency surgery.
Sheela's husband bought, for US$5.75 million, a 64,229-acre ranch in Oregon, previously known as "The Big Muddy Ranch". His failing health and inspiration from inside made Osho spend more and more time in meditation and his social interactions reduced. As part of his withdrawal from public life, Osho gave Ma Anand Sheela power of attorney to handle the day to day affairs of the ashram and slowly she gained complete control of the commune. She built a custom made trailer complex with indoor swimming pool and other amenities for residence purpose. In the name of her master, she and other followers bought a large number of Rolls-Royce luxury cars, eventually numbering 93 and claimed notoriety. In 1983, Sheela announced that Osho had embarked on a silence vow to save the world from an impending catastrophe and would henceforth speak only with her. Many sannyasins expressed doubts about whether Sheela truly represented Osho. An increasing number of dissidents left Rajneeshpuram, citing disagreements with Sheela's autocratic leadership style.
The initial reactions of the host community ranged from hostility to tolerance, depending on the observer's distance from the ranch. Within a year of arriving, Sheela's followers had become embroiled in a series of legal battles with their neighbors, the principal conflict relating to land use. Sheela was uncompromising and behaved impatiently in dealing with the locals. In May of 1982, the residents of Rancho Rajneesh voted to incorporate the city of Rajneeshpuram on the ranch. The conflict with local residents escalated, with increasingly bitter hostility on both sides, and over the following years, the commune was subject to constant and coordinated pressures from various coalitions of Oregon residents. In 1983 Sheela’s team was about to loose the city election and hence masterminded a scheme to mildly poison the food of the residents of the Dalles county so that the citizens do not turn up for the vote.
Osho ended his period of public silence in October 1984, announcing that it was time for him to "speak his own truths." In July 1985, he resumed his daily public discourses in the commune's purpose-built, two-acre meditation hall. According to statements he made to the press, he did so against Sheela's wishes.
On 16 September 1985, Sheela and her entire management team suddenly left the commune for Europe. Osho held a press conference in which he labelled Sheela and her associates a "gang of fascists." He accused them of having committed a number of serious crimes and invited the authorities to investigate. The alleged crimes, which he stated had been committed without his knowledge or consent, included the attempted murder of his personal physician, poisonings of public officials, wiretapping and bugging within the commune and within his own home, and a bioterror attack on the citizens of The Dalles, Oregon, using salmonella. The subsequent investigation by the U.S. authorities confirmed these accusations and resulted in the conviction of Sheela and several of her lieutenants. The salmonella attack was noted as the first confirmed instance of chemical or biological terrorism to have occurred in the United States.
Osho claimed that because he was in silence and isolation, meeting only with Sheela, he was unaware of the crimes committed by the Rajneeshpuram leadership until Sheela and her "gang" left, and other sannyasins came forward to inform him
Following her acrimonious split from Rajneesh, She remarried a Swiss citizen before she was extradited back to the U.S. Sheela served almost three years of a twenty year sentence in prison. In 1988, she was released early for good behavior and deported. She now lives in Switzerland.

Do you remember the greatest lie told by our educators?

All of us have heard the story of the tortoise and hare race. The moral preached is “Slow and steady wins the race”. If you think about it a little, you will figure out that the actual moral is “Fast and unsteady looses the race”. This is a classical example of misinterpretation which almost all great scriptures and parables suffer from due to the limitation of the narrator. This parody is that it is accepted by the majority of the world.
Similarly when somebody says, “I want to see God”, what is it that he actually means? We all know that God is omnipresent which means God is every where and we are seeing him in each impression formed on our mind, but this friend of ours is not able to recognize him. But that still is not his problem. He has a preconceived notion of what God is – A physical form, a light, some glitter, some glamour, some fireworks… He is seeking a sort of spiritual entertainment or an experience out of the ordinary when he sees God. If God comes to him in any other form, he is not ready to accept him as He is because it the set idea in his mind that he is looking for and not actual God. Infinite God cannot be limited by a form.
Now when our friend says “I want salvation”, what does she mean? Most of the times she does not even know what the word ‘salvation’ means but she wants it badly. If we tell her that salvation means that she is forced to sit in one corner of the world and not move till the end of time she will suddenly say, “I can’t sit for more than 15 minutes, my legs start paining”. What she has experienced is that there are pains and unhappiness in the world. She wants to get over it. She has heard some where that by getting salvation one stop’s being affected by the pains. So what she really means is that she does not want the ups and downs of the material world.
There are lots of thoughts which require correct interpretation and only a Jnani will be able to interpret these correctly. Hence utilize the Jnana Yoga sessions of our Guruji in Satsangs, courses and our magazine. Dig into the past issues, his past speeches on tapes, CDs and enjoy the nectar of truth by hearing the right interpretations. This is one way for you to develop your Viveka (discrimination) and this will take your further in your spiritual quest.

Jai Gurudev

Only personal experience matters

When Lava and Kusha captured the horse, Lakshmana approached them and asked them to release it saying, “You don’t know how great the power of Sri Rama is!! When the dust of his feet touched Ahalya, she was transformed from a rock back to a woman”. They replied, “Oh Prince we know all that and more. It was the great sage Gautamas words that in Treta Yuga, Sri Rama would step on her. So is it the purity of Rama or the power of the words of the great sage that caused the transformation?” Lakshmana did not have an answer to this.
Similarly in spirituality your direct personal experience is the only thing that matters. You may have learnt all about the Chakras, the different types of Samadhis but unless you have experienced them your self they are all theory and of no avail. When some thing happens when you have your eyes closed, you have no idea if it was trance or sleep. You are confused if you had a vision or just a dream. Some people have a high self esteem and go about bragging that they have reached higher states of meditation. Some people with a low self esteem drag them selves down and conclude that they still do not know how to meditate. Only a realized person who has the direct experience of the truth will be able to judge on where everybody stands and all other perceptions on what individuals think will have no base in reality. Here we have to refer to a Sadguru to discriminate and help us progress from where we have reached. Each person has a different path and intermediary experiences can not be compared.

Changed Perspectives

Once upon a time long long ago people lived simple lives centered around agriculture. A few traders traveled around and there were a few more supporting trades. Sages lived isolated lives in ashrams and gained knowledge by their direct personal experiences. Young princes went to study with them. After learning preliminary techniques of concentrating their minds, they were initiated into different mantras. Only after rigorous practice and hard work they were able to master them and then convert simple arrows (Shastras) into mighty missiles (Astras). One such warrior who could face 10,000 soldiers on foot was called a Rathi and was given a chariot. They were ranked on how many missiles they could launch; how many soldiers they could fight and all this was common knowledge.
The Brahmins on the other hand dedicated themselves to the development of the religious and spiritual sides. They too indulged in rigorous penance and mastered mantras not for military purposes but to serve the society. There were a few people here and there who had possessed occult powers called Siddhis and all these had come by after lots of hard work and disciplined dedication. Some could move around in time and space, communicate with people in distant locations, heal people, change climate, bring rains, grant boons, demonstrate alchemy, teach by intuition, create and destroy life and such. But most of them went on experimenting with themselves, learning from their experience and reached a state of perfection. Hence these selfless people commanded tremendous respect and the common man had accepted them to be evolved beings and could count on them for the development of the entire mankind.
Now enter the modern man of 2009. If he were to go into that society and tell the commoners that a time would come when any idiot can talk to any idiot using a small equipment called a cell phone, any lazy bum can sit on his ass and see all the events that happens in all the corners of the world using a box called T.V, what would be their reaction? The converse problem limits today’s commoners from understanding them. Their society is built around the values of hard work and personal excellence that makes the worthy better than the commoner. Here a commoner possesses unruly power due to the advent of technology and all our society is built around the value of money. All these scientific developments of our current science are built around understanding one particular type of energy waves called Electromagnetic radiation. Sages tell us that there are 33 crores of such waves or vibrations and mankind has understood only a few of them. Now if the sages of the past had understood even a few more of these vibrations, their societies would have been much more advanced and built very differently. All that knowledge was forgotten and today we can just sit and imagine the extent of their progress or sit and brag that we are a far more advanced civilization with our blindfold of ignorance. To know the truth we have to change our perspective and may be then we can rediscover all the forgotten knowledge.

Osho’s recount of the night he attained enlightenment

After Buddha’s enlightenment under the Bodhi tree, Osho was probably the next person who had documented his enlightenment experience under a special tree. He was a young man of 28 yrs at that time and was practicing serious meditation. There are his own words recorded in some of his speeches.
“The moment I entered the garden everything became luminous, it was all over the place – the benediction, the blessedness. I could see the trees for the first time – their green, their life, their very sap running. The whole garden was asleep, the trees were asleep. But I could see the whole garden alive, even the small grass leaves were so beautiful.
I looked around. One tree was tremendously luminous – the maulshree tree. It attracted me, it pulled me towards itself. I had not chosen it, God Himself has chosen it. I went to the tree, I sat under the tree. As I sat there things started settling. The whole universe became a benediction.”